My adoption gifted me a greater understanding of my purpose in life, to remind myself that it is safe to let go, to learn how to Adopt Myself, and to teach other adoptees how to Adopt Yourself.
Being relinquished and adopted taught me how to heal and how to love myself. Over the last 33 years I learned that my confusing painful emotions around being adopted were valid, I learned how to grow from the trauma of relinquishment, I learned how to grow from victim consciousness into self-empowerment, and I learned how to find and build home within myself resulting in me feeling more worthy and whole while lessening the desire for external validation because I’m able to validate and love myself.
I am grateful that I have been able to turn what once caused me pain into purpose and I am honored to support other adoptees on their healing journeys, guiding them back home to yourSelf through my various offerings of Hypnotherapy, Mentorship, Reiki Healing, and our Adoptee Support Group.
I have gained clarity and awareness of what I had been learning this entire time + what I will keep learning in this life: how to accept, love, and prioritize the real me. Which leads me to the question I’ve contemplated the most in life, “who am I?”
The “I” is ever evolving, every day the Self is new and different, yet most of my life I kept thinking I needed to change who I was just to be accepted until I learned that our world needs me to be mySelf, exactly as I am, our world needs you to be exactly who you are, and we all have a purpose here because we exist. What took me many years to understand and embody is the simple fact “I am worthy because I exist.”
Although I was adopted into a loving, safe, and supportive family I felt lost and that I didn’t belong. Growing up I didn’t want to offend anyone so I didn’t voice how I really felt as an adoptee and I felt like no one understood me. I learned how to enjoy always being different and had fun making up fairy tales about my potential biological families however, deep down I was holding onto so much pain and I didn’t know how to process my emotions.
I mastered being a chameleon to “fit in” with whomever was in front of me which also resulted in me abandoning myself just to be accepted for a brief moment causing me to lose awareness of who I really was. I dissociated with my feelings and brushed them under the rug hoping I could just move on from them instead of feeling them out of fear of diving deeper into the dark hole of depression I had been teetering on for years.
It wasn’t until my mid-twenties through a series of unfortunate events and a near death experience that I began to look deeper into how I really felt about being adopted and I started my own journey of introspection which led to deep healing. I learned that the primal wound of being separated from my birth mother was a trauma that implanted a limiting belief in my subconscious that I wasn’t worthy and I didn’t deserve to be happy which influenced my behavior patterns and how I viewed mySelf.
Although I had been in therapy for over ten years we hadn’t fully addressed how my adoption impacted all my relationships and aspects of my life. It took me learning how to pave my own healing journey through the adoption fog to understand all that I do today. Along the way I searched for adoption competent healers, coaches, practitioners, therapists, and support groups only to find a handful. I didn’t find who I needed so I became who I needed.
I chose to heal myself so that I could be better to serve better, so I could experience healthier relations, and I eventually found happiness within, gifting me an awareness of my why.
I’m excited to learn how to let go more, to accept the sacredness of what is regardless of all the unanswered questions around my birth story, and to see what other learnings this life will gift me.
To my fellow adoptees,
You matter. You are enough. You are not alone. Your emotions are valid. All you need is already within you. It is ok and safe to let go of what is not yours to carry. You do not need to identify with pain, it is safe to let go. You are capable of growing from any trauma and you can heal with ease and grace. You deserve to live the life of your dreams. You are worthy because you exist. It is safe to Adopt Yourself.
Thank you for being you and for witnessing my journey.
Sending Mother Earth blessings and all my Reiki love,